Monday, May 30, 2011


I have always loved books.  I used to read as much as I could when I was younger.  But I recently realized the importance of books when I started to use them to relay a message to Maxine.  I thought I already made a list here in the blog about the books that can help you through tough times with your children.

My friend May got her a book when I was pregnant, about getting a little sister.  Here's an article I found about it! Books!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Mother's Day

Why is mother's day such a big deal to me now?  I wondered this as I was brushing my teeth.  Its not because I want flowers or a gift, its because I have 2 kids and i've come to realize what a hard thing it is to be a mother.  Mother's day was just last week, more than 2 years ago I realized how much I loved my mom when I gave birth to M1, even as a 4month old baby she knew what she wanted and she expressed it the was she knew how (kicking and screaming for hours). She is now 2 and a half and she talks more than a 3 year old.  My mom worked all day and played with us at night (according to her, I barely have early childhood memories). I remember having home cooked meals everyday.  I remember watching her prepare dinner for the family.  I hated eating when I was young, it was a chore for me, I would finish lunch at sunset.  I spent my time day dreaming of playing instead of just eating fast and being able to play for real.  I remember my mom making some breaded pork thing and I didn't like it, the idiot that I was, I flushed it down the toilet and the toilet got stuck.  I got caught and got punished, to this day I feel guilty about that.  I can only imagine how hurt she must have been putting all that effort to make that dish and having to find out I threw it away.  I am older and wiser now, having been married for more than 4 years I know how tiring it is to cook every single day.  So when she sends food over? I love it, even food i used to complain about?  I have learned to love.  Because she was the one who made it.  Because she took the time out of her busy and tiresome day to make a meal for her family.

The hardest job in the world is being a mother.  We give our children our all, we experience rejection, complaints, nagging, tantrums, screaming, insane crying and yet we stay there and continue to love our kids with all that we can.  We watch them fall, fail and freak out and we stay there and support them.  I have rejected, complained, nagged, thrown tantrums, screamed and cried insanely and my mom was just there loving me. I have failed, fallen and have worn freaky clothes and my mom was there to support me.  Wanting nothing in return (maybe get good grades and stop getting into trouble in school).

So to all moms out there, I know you know how I feel.  We learn to love our moms 100x more when we became one.  Don't worry all our troubles and stresses will disappear when our children have children because they too will learn to appreciate us.  The timing was perfect that when I gave birth to M1 I read a story about a new mom who also had a demanding baby and her own mom said to her "its payback time".  Maxine is not even half the brat that  I was growing up, not yet and hopefully not ever.

To all the children who don't listen to your parents, haha, don't worry payback will come too.

And to my mom, thank you for giving me life.   Thank you for always being there even when I pushed you away.  Thank you for not dunking my head in a boiling pot of water even if i was so stubborn.  Thank you for punishing me so that I learned the lesson.  Thank you for supporting me in everything I thought I was meant to do.  Thank you for never giving up on me during my teenage years.  Bottom line?  Thank you for loving me especially when I was so hard to love.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sweet Endings

A lot of things are ending this summer.  It makes me both happy and sad. Tomorrow is M1's last day of summer school.  We have enjoyed going to school and I am glad that she now loves going to school and is definitely more independent and friendlier.  She loves her classmates and her teachers though she needs to pay more attention to the activities at hand, for now it is enough that she likes to go to school and isn't afraid anymore.  We'll see this June how fast she'll adjust to being left there on her own.

My milk in almost all gone and I am glad the bfeeding is finally over.  M2 is more than 7 months old now and I still have more than enough stock in the freezer to last her til she's 1 year old.  She is always smiling and laughing at the people she knows.  She loves to play by herself and enjoys watching people around her.  I could spend all day just staring at her.

Other than my kids, I spend alot of time on tv shows too.  Most shows are down to their last episodes and I must applaud Vampire Diaries for making each episode seem like the season ender.

Life is good.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A Mother's Worries

I barely blog anymore because I felt that I had nothing interesting left to say.  What was once a simple, secret diary to my then only child became an open book of the life I lead.  It became a story I was telling to my facebook friends and to whoever chose to click on the link I would add to my status.  I felt like I had to edit my thought because people will start judging me and learn so many things they wouldn't know if I didn't have this blog.  But tonight I find myself drawn to it again... It is therapeutic in so many levels...

Tonight I came home and I heard music coming from the nursery, M2 my lil marshmallow was sitting on her mat playing with her toy piano, sleepy eyed and startled to see me.  It is after all 1am, she should have been fast asleep.  Yaya said that she had a nightmare and couldn't stop crying.  I wonder what a 7month old baby would have nightmares about.  I'd give around 100 pesos to find out.  Maliit lang, curious lang ako and im pretty sure the answer would be funny anyways.

Life gets so busy even if I am a stay at home mom.  A bustling larger than life toddler eats up so much of my day and I always go to sleep feeling guilty about not spending enough time with my marshmallow.  She's so calm and not demanding at all.  It's like she understands that her sister really needs so much more attention.  A mother's guilt never ends. We always feel like we need to do more, we need to give more, we need to share everything that often times we forget about ourselves.  I wonder if dads feel the same way too.  But I wonder more if I am doing enough for the kids.  Are their activities educational enough, am I encouraging enough, do I set their limits enough or do I spoil them already.  When will it be enough?

The questions will never end to think M1 is barely 2 and a half years old... I am fearful of the questions I will be asking when she's 18.  We all just try to do our best with what we know and what we have.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Update on the Family

I have been busy with a lot of things and also I sort of felt too lazy to blog the past few weeks.  I have been very busy and truthfully, I have been running out of things to blog about.  (useful things that is)  My dreams of becoming a published author/ paid writer has been moved to the bottom of my list of things to do.

Update on the kids, I have yet to take Kayla on her renal scan, Cardinal Santos FAIL! Yet again.  We made an appointment, we paid the deposit a day before, we went.. and TADA their machine was broken and couldn't do it.  What a waste of time and effort! Which reminds me I have to go back and get the refund because they couldn't give it to me that day.

M1 is going to be a flowergirl this weekend, hopefully she will walk down the aisle on her own, but I doubt it.  She's going to wear a beautiful dress though!  Which reminds me... I need to have the dress picked up.

This is starting to look like a list of things to do...

I really wanted to say that I discovered (I just saw a facebook update) a great new class for moms out there who want to take better pictures of their kids.  We all want to take "studio-esque" pictures so we won't have to keep paying big bucks to the studios and their mucho expensive prints.  The Stork Studio's photographer is now holding a 2 day class and they still have slots for this May!  Click here to look at more details.  They even have one for yayas to help take better pictures!  So begone the blurry-head-cut-off pictures of your family.  Tell me about the class if you do decide to join! :)

I hope everyone had a nice weekend!