Sunday, May 15, 2011

Mother's Day

Why is mother's day such a big deal to me now?  I wondered this as I was brushing my teeth.  Its not because I want flowers or a gift, its because I have 2 kids and i've come to realize what a hard thing it is to be a mother.  Mother's day was just last week, more than 2 years ago I realized how much I loved my mom when I gave birth to M1, even as a 4month old baby she knew what she wanted and she expressed it the was she knew how (kicking and screaming for hours). She is now 2 and a half and she talks more than a 3 year old.  My mom worked all day and played with us at night (according to her, I barely have early childhood memories). I remember having home cooked meals everyday.  I remember watching her prepare dinner for the family.  I hated eating when I was young, it was a chore for me, I would finish lunch at sunset.  I spent my time day dreaming of playing instead of just eating fast and being able to play for real.  I remember my mom making some breaded pork thing and I didn't like it, the idiot that I was, I flushed it down the toilet and the toilet got stuck.  I got caught and got punished, to this day I feel guilty about that.  I can only imagine how hurt she must have been putting all that effort to make that dish and having to find out I threw it away.  I am older and wiser now, having been married for more than 4 years I know how tiring it is to cook every single day.  So when she sends food over? I love it, even food i used to complain about?  I have learned to love.  Because she was the one who made it.  Because she took the time out of her busy and tiresome day to make a meal for her family.

The hardest job in the world is being a mother.  We give our children our all, we experience rejection, complaints, nagging, tantrums, screaming, insane crying and yet we stay there and continue to love our kids with all that we can.  We watch them fall, fail and freak out and we stay there and support them.  I have rejected, complained, nagged, thrown tantrums, screamed and cried insanely and my mom was just there loving me. I have failed, fallen and have worn freaky clothes and my mom was there to support me.  Wanting nothing in return (maybe get good grades and stop getting into trouble in school).

So to all moms out there, I know you know how I feel.  We learn to love our moms 100x more when we became one.  Don't worry all our troubles and stresses will disappear when our children have children because they too will learn to appreciate us.  The timing was perfect that when I gave birth to M1 I read a story about a new mom who also had a demanding baby and her own mom said to her "its payback time".  Maxine is not even half the brat that  I was growing up, not yet and hopefully not ever.

To all the children who don't listen to your parents, haha, don't worry payback will come too.

And to my mom, thank you for giving me life.   Thank you for always being there even when I pushed you away.  Thank you for not dunking my head in a boiling pot of water even if i was so stubborn.  Thank you for punishing me so that I learned the lesson.  Thank you for supporting me in everything I thought I was meant to do.  Thank you for never giving up on me during my teenage years.  Bottom line?  Thank you for loving me especially when I was so hard to love.

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