Monday, April 26, 2010
Today I had breakfast with my Gwakong and Gwama. We ate papaya! YUMMY! I watched Barney while eating my lunch and holding my Minnie Mouse balloon from mommy. She also bought me this walking butterfly toy that makes a lot of noise when I move it around.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Hippo. (ee-pooh) she would say when she entered our room. She would walk to me on my computer table and ask to sit on my chair and say "eepow" she means hippo. She wants to watch The Backyardigans, but the thing is my pc doesn't have a speaker so she just watches the cartoon moving around. She was actually able to sit still for 22 mins on my chair just watching eepow. Tonight she watches it on the tv and she is mesmerized. She tries to dance too as she sees them do it. She makes me laugh as i watch her face in wonder as to why her eepow is on the pc and in the tv at the same time :)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I haven't gone out in awhile but today we went to visit daddy's office! It's new and clean and they let me run all around! They had it blessed today and I sat still for around 10mins during the mass until I decided that walking around is so much more fun.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Last night she fell asleep at 7pm and woke up at 7:40am. Amazing. she's never slept that long ever. I think this just proves that changing her yaya was the right thing to do. She's eating the same amount of food, drinking the same amount of milk, playing more, and sleeping longer hours at night.
Mommy is sorry that I had to put you through all this stress of getting to know a new person in your life and getting rid of the one who took care of you so suddenly. But i want you to know I only had our best interest at heart. The quality of care she was giving you was sub par anyone's charts. Your new yaya now, Merly has been trying her best to win you over and to take much better care of you than the one before her. I only wait for the night that when you drink your 3rd and last bottle of milk you won't cry in desperation anymore. I don't really understand why you cry so much and why when it's after 6pm, you are so afraid of her to take you away from me. Even if she isn't even going anywhere near you. But during the rest of the day you are peacefully happy to play with her and be with her. I wish you would you could understand that mommy isn't really going anywhere and mommy will not put you in harms way, ever. I love you my darling Bear, dry your tears and feel no more fear.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
In the past few days, when she gets scared all she shouts is "mommy!". She shouts it repeatedly so that I want to cry with her in her desperation for her "mommy" to save her. Save her from I don't know what. Last night she knew she was going to be put to bed already, we turned on her airconditioner and she pouted. She kept quiet and didn't want to go down and walk around her room anymore. Her yaya and maid went in her room and then she started to try and grab my shoulders and hugging me so that i wouldn't let go of her. she would look at me into my eyes and beg me "mommy! mommy! mommy!" as the tears would fall down. I would just whisper, "it's okay, mommy's here, mommy loves you baby bear. They're just here because its time for you to sleep". That didn't work. She still knew what was inevitable but she still tried. She calms down but as I hand her to the yaya she wails again and I leave the room.
I don't know how people do it, how they get used to a child crying. I stand outside the door and feel my heart breaking all over again. But it has to be done. I cannot carry her and lull her to sleep because I am pregnant. I cannot even carry her to begin with but i have been the past few days. I love having her in my arms and walking or dancing while carrying her. I always think that there will come a time when I won't be able to carry her anymore and or she won't let me carry her anymore. You can see time fly when you have a child. Now she's walking and going around in circles, next thing you know she'll be running and going to school. How I wish she would stay so small forever... SIGH
Friday, April 16, 2010
Day 1 with new yaya:
Maxine is watching her old yaya pack her bags, the yaya took more than an hour and ignored Maxine the entire time. She leaves. Good riddance! New yaya comes and its the start of a brand new day for all of us. Maxine is afraid but curious of the new face thats always there behind me. She helps around, good thing the maid knows what to do with Maxine so I dont have to do everything. Maxine is clingy and emotional when i leave the room. We spend the day together playing around the house. We visit my Mom's house and we wade in her small pool there, I leave the maid and yaya with Maxine, she's okay because she's in her pool. I feed her the whole day, we're okay. Now the hard part, time to sleep. We're all in her room and her daddy and i leave she starts chasing after us and we close the door and they run off the lights. She wails and cries for exactly 3 mins. I pray. Silence. She quiets down but is still crying, then she falls alseep after 10 mins.
She can be left alone with the yaya but whenshe sees me she chases after me and hugs my legs. She's afraid that they'll take her away from me so she begs me to carry her to keep her safe from them. By them i mean the maid and yaya. She's more emotional but also more free. She gets to walk around and play around the house more. They were able to put her down for her nap easily this time. She wakes up 2 hours later and plays again. She goes to the other house and gets tired fast, she gets home exhausted and is so cranky she doesn't want to eat or drink her milk. We play and i wash her and they carry her up to her room and she wails and cries for me to save her. They feed her her milk there and she falls asleep drinking it.
She woke up 3x last night but only for 10mins each time or even less. She's getting used to the new yaya already and that's great. She wakes up at 7:30 and she eats and showers and plays. We play with her and she cries as her daddy goes off to work. She cries when i leave the room but there are no more tears, she just wants me to stay with her. But she panics when i'm there and they're there so I have to leave when they feed her or she won't eat. She's growing to love watching Barney on TV. I let her watch when she's drinking her milk so she's distracted. She shouts less the whole day, unlike before that she would shout the whole morning because she'd be stuck in her chair for more than an hour. Now she gets to walk around and play more. She gets to sleep more deeply because her naps have been lessen but her sleep is an hour longer. I'm glad she's adjusted so quickly, she's just more tired now and i hope she naps for 3hrs instead of 2 next time. All in all the changes in her schedule and her attitude have been for the better. She cries less and i'm sure that will lessen even more when she starts to trust her new yaya more.
Hopefully, this yaya is a keeper. If not, at least i've learned my lesson that it's not really that hard for a child to adjust and that I shouldn't have to settle for less because i think she will have a hard time about it.
I have alot of reasons why I decided to finally changed Maxine's yaya. I actually should've done it months and months ago but I was so afraid that she'd have a hard time that I chose to endure all the stress. Her yaya lasted for 9 months. The 1st month was okay, she did a good job. It all went downhill slowly from there.
She would say that she'd come home at 7pm from her dayoff but be 2hours late. If you spoke to her about it she'd even get angry at me and shout at me. The next incident was when we brought Maxine to my in laws house for a party and she just sat there under the stairs and texted on her phone. The whole afternoon we had to be the ones to take care of Maxine. When I asked her why, she told me because she was hungry already. We actually got home at 6pm and she was able to eat her dinner at that time. There were alot of minor things I would let pass. Like when we would go to the mall, she would leave Maxine with me and go hide in the bathroom and i'd find out that she was actually shopping. She'd ask if she could go to the grocery and buy stuff while i'd end up waiting for her. She has this thing where she needs to go to the bathroom at least 15x in 3hours. My water bill increased from 800php to 1,800php because of her constant flushing.
The past few months were the worst, she would leave maxine in the high chair and leave the maid to watch her while she texted or spoke on the phone. She would hide in the bathroom for an hour so she wouldn't have to watch Maxine. She would force feed maxine to the point where Maxine would just vomit everything. She constantly answered back and she never listened to anything I told her to do. I let it all slide because i thought she was good for Maxine, since the baby bear was growing fatter and taller every month and she seemed happy. I never left medicine in the nursery because I never trusted her fully, my instincts were right. Maxine had a fever for 1 night so i left the Tempra there. I didn't bring it back to my room yet just in case the fever came back. It never did, but she still had a cough, on the day the yaya went out i find out that Maxine hasnt been bathed in 3 days. The excuse was because she had a cough. Never in my life have i heard of a person not allowed to shower because of a cough. Her head was full of scabs because she was scratching it so much. It's summer and in this heat how can you not bathe someone? I bathed her and then the yaya comes home that night at 10pm. I dont say anything. The next day I asked her if she gave the cough medicine already. She replies to me that she gave her the tempra. I asked "does she have a fever?" yaya "yes, 37.2 yun temp nya". I said, didnt I write it down na above 37.5 dapat? and then she starts shouting and walking away at the same time that maxine kept coughing the whole night because i batehd her so she gave her the medicine for the fever to put her to sleep. To me that was the last straw. I couldn't sleep or eat or enjoy anything anymore, I was just obsessed about finding a replacement. She always put herself before the needs of my child. She ate even if bear was sleepy already. She let Bear cry and cry and cry with the excuse that all kids cry and that "iyakin naman tlaga anak mo!"
The day I let her go I felt so relieved I wanted to cry. But now it's time to adjust to the new yaya. And thats a whole other story.