The Cries of A Child

In the past few days, when she gets scared all she shouts is "mommy!". She shouts it repeatedly so that I want to cry with her in her desperation for her "mommy" to save her. Save her from I don't know what. Last night she knew she was going to be put to bed already, we turned on her airconditioner and she pouted. She kept quiet and didn't want to go down and walk around her room anymore. Her yaya and maid went in her room and then she started to try and grab my shoulders and hugging me so that i wouldn't let go of her. she would look at me into my eyes and beg me "mommy! mommy! mommy!" as the tears would fall down. I would just whisper, "it's okay, mommy's here, mommy loves you baby bear. They're just here because its time for you to sleep". That didn't work. She still knew what was inevitable but she still tried. She calms down but as I hand her to the yaya she wails again and I leave the room.

I don't know how people do it, how they get used to a child crying. I stand outside the door and feel my heart breaking all over again. But it has to be done. I cannot carry her and lull her to sleep because I am pregnant. I cannot even carry her to begin with but i have been the past few days. I love having her in my arms and walking or dancing while carrying her. I always think that there will come a time when I won't be able to carry her anymore and or she won't let me carry her anymore. You can see time fly when you have a child. Now she's walking and going around in circles, next thing you know she'll be running and going to school. How I wish she would stay so small forever... SIGH