Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Growing Pains

One of the hardest things for me to accept is the fast in your face fact that my babies are growing up.  I like to carry them in my arms, I like to feed them slowly and I like to bathe them.  As each day passes M1 seems to be growing older with the speed of the road runner being chased by a coyote.  She seems to be in a hurry to go out into the big world without her mommy.  The next toughest thing for me to do is to let go.  I need to let her be the person she wants to be, I know, I will, BUT at 2 years old?! REALLY???  I understand that she was born with a mind of her own and super strong willed, the apple never falls far from the tree.  I also understand that she knows what she wants at times and needs to have her way but even if I am the sole human being alive who can say no to her constantly and consistently she still loves me the most.  Or so I thought.  The past few days have been difficult.  We have been battling a lot on what she can and cannot do.  No she cannot waste toilet paper and no not tissue paper and no not cotton buds.  No she cannot take off her clothes nor can she take off anybody else's.  I have been saying no to her and I am paying the price.  She is now at her Gwama's house, by choice and is going to sleepover.  Because she wants to.  Or so she thinks.  Lets see.  Today I give in because she's been going through some things and we all have no idea what they are.  She's been having bad dreams, crying in her sleep and shouting alot.  Today she didn't take a nap despite being put to sleep for 2hrs.  We finally gave in and told her she can go down and play.  I used to be her number one person in the world but now because of all my rules I am not.

My Darling Bear,

If because I want you to grow up with discipline, learning right from wrong and believing that even at the young age of 2 you can learn those things already, I will become your nemesis, then so be it.  I will not give in to your tears and wails, there are rules and boundaries in this house and you are to learn them and follow them.  I love you but I will not spoil you.  I will bend the rules sometimes because I understand that there are days you don't feel like eating so you don't want to finish your food.  But you will learn to stop hitting people and you will stop kicking the dog.  I will always love you and even if I want to stay your friend I need to be your mom first.  So, finish your food, drink your milk and go to bed.  Goodnight sweet dreams and stop saying ayaw.


P.S. I always thought we would start fighting when you became a teenager, who would have guessed it would start this early.  This just means when you're a teenager we won't fight anymore :)

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